Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
I am sick. My grandma says I might have strep throat.
My throat hurts like crap.
Nothing helps.
I feel terrible ;-;
Okay, here goes...
When I was about nine years old my mother left without ever telling us why. I felt betrayed, confused, angry, devastated. I remember that like it was yesterday.
When my mother left, my grandmother took me under her wing and raised me. It was great, up until age thirteen.
Grandma and I would fight a ton over stupid crap, like my bed not being made, or not putting my shoes in the closet, how long I sleep during the summer, etc.
Not only that, I was getting bullied at school, also for stupid crap. I started spiraling into depression.
I always thought about killing myself or self-harming, but I never actually went through with it. (Up until this month, where I scratched my wrist with scissors.)
The bullying isn't so much of a problem, since people don't really bother me anymore, and I somehow became more likable among students.
The problem was my grandmother.
She usually was there when I was sad, and always helped me through times when I needed her.
But now, she's the reason my self esteem is so low.
I've been gaining more weight than I would desire too, mainly because my eating habits are becoming increasingly harder to control. She NEVER stops bothering me about it, and I haven't gone more than an hour without thinking about it. And, she doesn't seem to care about my emotions, and she seems to act like they're fake. She pays more attention to my flaws than what I'm good at, and the fact that I'm trying. I'm really forgetful, and she gets way too pissed off at me for forgetting stuff. Plus, how angry she gets at a slightly messy spot of a room is absurd.
Another problem is that she's homophobic, whether she wants to admit it or not. (And me being bisexual, we would butt heads if she knew.) She believes that it's a sin because the bible says so.
Really? Genetics is a sin? What the hell?
This is why I have a hard time with religion, I want to believe it, but it contradicts itself by saying that non straight people are going to hell, when it also says, "Do not judge, lest ye be judged."
I don't want to have to hide it from her, it makes me feel guilty. But if I tell her, I will never hear the end of it.
Why is being of a different sexuality so wrong to others? It's just how your brain is wired that makes you that way, that's all!
I wish this world wasn't so prejudiced against people who aren't quite normal. We're all human beings, we're not better than one another, and I think we should learn to love. This world would be such a better place, don't you think?
Okay, I'm done. If you made it to the bottom, you've been noticed by Senpai. :3
But seriously, thank you for reading it all if you did. It means a lot.
I think someone tried to break into the house I'm staying in ;-;
There was rattling on the door
I didn't see anyone, but I sure heard the rattling.
Well, I didn't plan to sleep anyways. *shrugs* *gives a huge middle finger to the guy who decided it was a great idea to try and break into the house*